ND 1-2-3: Helping kids build healthy relationships
Parents everywhere want to protect their kids from facing upsetting topics. More and more, it feels impossible to shield them from the immigration enforcement efforts and what it is doing to kids and families. They see headlines, hear stories at school, notice missing classmates, or have seen someone being taken away by ICE officials.
Even if a child’s family isn’t directly affected, hearing about raids, deportations, or separations can spark deep fear and confusion. You can talk directly with your child about this with honesty and love.
Kids hear more than you think
Kids often learn about ICE indirectly, through news clips, social media, or the grown-up conversations around them. In some neighborhoods, kids are seeing enforcement activity firsthand. When they don’t feel safe asking questions, they may fill in the blanks with their imagination. And that can lead to even scarier thoughts than the truth.
What fear can look like in kids
Fear doesn’t always look like fear. Some kids might appear curious and ask questions like “Will they take our family away?” Others might act out, have trouble sleeping, or cling more tightly to their loved ones. Some may be afraid to go to school, have trouble focusing, or withdraw from things they used to love. These are all signs that a child is processing stress and needs your support.
How to support your child emotionally
Talking about hard things can be difficult. It’s also important. Here’s how grown-ups can help kids feel more grounded and less afraid:
Check-ins: Ask open questions like “What have you heard?” or “Is there anything you’re worried about?”
Be honest, but age-appropriate: Explain things clearly, without too many overwhelming details.
Normalize their feelings: Say things like “It’s understand if you feel scared sometimes. I do, too. I’m here with you.”
Correct misinformation: Gently explain what’s true and what might be a rumor. Look for answers together.
Stick to routines: Predictable meals, playtime, and bedtime can create a sense of safety in their body.
Create a simple family safety plan: Talk about who to contact or what to do in case of an emergency — it can give your child a small sense of control.
Look for physical signs of stress: Headaches, tummy aches, nightmares, or sudden changes in behavior may be signs that your child is struggling.
Encourage expressive outlets: Drawing, journaling, storytelling, or role-play can help kids process feelings.
If your child is experiencing ongoing anxiety or sadness, talking with a pediatric therapist or BrightLife Kids coach can make a big difference.
You’re not alone
Caregivers, teachers, and family friends can all be a source of safety and calm for kids. It can be hard to know the right things to say. Reassurance doesn't come from making promises you can't keep. If you don't know the answer to a question your child has, just say so. Ask for help when you need it. A BrightLife Kids coach can help you understand how to talk about ICE with your family.
This is hard and it doesn't have to look perfect. Focus on being there for your child and surrounding yourself with the support you need, too.
BrightLife Kids is free — all you need is a California zip code to be eligible
We are here for everyone and free for everyone. Sign up to talk confidentially with a friendly, expert coach. Many are bilingual (English/Spanish) and we offer free, live interpretation to 17 other languages. You also get immediate access to digital resources like articles, peer communities, and activities for kids ages 0–12.
