Meeting the behavioral health needs of California's children and families
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and if you’re a caregiver, usesue this month as an opportunity to check in with yourself, too.
Between Mother’s Day and Teacher Appreciation Week, there’s a lot of talk about celebrating the people who give so much. But here’s something we don’t say enough: being there for kids, whether at home or in a classroom, can be both beautiful and exhausting at the same time.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’m trying to hold it together for everyone else, but I’m running low myself,” you’re not the only parent feeling that way. And you’re not doing anything wrong.
Start with a small pause
Before we talk about tips or to-do lists, let’s start here:
Take a breath.
Notice how much you’re already carrying.
You’re managing feelings (yours and theirs), schedules, surprises, and all the in-between moments that don’t make it on a calendar. That takes real strength.
Offering yourself even a moment of kindness (“this is a lot, and I’m doing my best”) can shift more than you might expect.
Why taking care of yourself helps everyone
You’ve probably heard this on an airplane before: put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.
Here’s what that actually means in real life as a caregiver.
If something unexpected happens on a flight, oxygen masks drop down so you can breathe. The instructions are clear — take care of yourself first, then help your child. Not because your child matters less, but because if you’re struggling to breathe, you won’t be able to help anyone else for very long.
Caregiving works the same way.
When your body is worn down and your mind is stretched thin, everything feels harder. Patience runs short. Little things feel big. And showing up the way you want to can feel just out of reach.
When you’ve had a moment to recharge, things tend to feel a little steadier. Taking care of yourself isn’t extra. It’s part of the foundation.
Self-care can be simple (and still count)
Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or time-consuming. In fact, the most helpful things are often the easiest to return to.
It might look like:
picking up fresh flowers just because they make you smile
texting a friend who feels like a safe place
taking a walk while the kids scooter ahead
reading a few pages before bed instead of doing one more chore
sitting quietly with your coffee before the day fully begins
These moments don’t need to be perfect to matter. They just need to be yours.
Sometimes it can be tricky to work this recharging time into your schedule. If you have someone you’re coparenting with, you can try saying something like:
“Hey, I’m starting to feel pretty drained. Can you take over for a bit so I can reset? I need some time to recharge so I can show up the way I want to for you and the kids. I’ll come back feeling a lot more like myself.”
This makes it clear that you’re not just asking for yourself, you’re advocating for the whole family.
Rest is something you need, not something you earn
If you’re caring for a baby, a child, or a room full of students, chances are your energy gets pulled in a hundred directions before lunchtime. And while it’s tempting to use every quiet moment to catch up on tasks, your body often needs something else.
Rest.
That might mean lying down when the baby naps, even if the dishes are waiting. It might mean closing your eyes for ten minutes between responsibilities. It might mean going to bed earlier instead of pushing through.
Remember, rest isn’t falling behind. It’s helping you keep going.
You don’t have to do this alone
Caregiving can feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by people. That’s why connection matters so much.
Talking to someone who gets it (another parent, a fellow teacher, a friend) can help you release some of what you’re holding. You don’t have to explain everything. Sometimes just saying, “today was a lot,” is enough.
Support can also look like trading playdates, leaning on family, or joining a group where people understand your day-to-day. One program that BrightLife Kids offers is access to Peer Communities, safe, moderated spaces where caregivers can:
Ask questions
Share advice
Learn from coaches
Get connected to others going through similar challenges
It’s like a parent group chat — but digital, expert-informed, and organized by your child’s age and stage. Our bilingual (English and Spanish) communities are organized around shared experiences, so you can connect with others navigating similar parenting moments. These small networks can open up pockets of time and breathing room you didn’t realize you needed.
Boundaries make space for you to recharge
It can feel uncomfortable at first, but saying “I need a moment” is a powerful way to care for yourself.
Maybe that means asking your partner to take over bedtime so you can step away. Maybe it means letting your kids know you’re taking a quick reset before responding. Maybe it’s carving out a little time after work to transition before jumping into the next role.
Boundaries aren’t about shutting others out. They’re about making sure you have enough energy to come back in.
A note for moms this Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day can be full of love — and sometimes a quiet kind of pressure, too. If you’re a mom, here’s something to hold onto:
You don’t have to be the perfect parent. That person doesn’t exist anywhere in the world. Real parenting includes messy moments, raised voices, deep love, and learning as you go.
This year, alongside whatever celebrations come your way, see if you can give yourself something just as meaningful:
Time to rest, space to breathe, or simply permission to not do it all.
You deserve care, too.
A note for Teacher Appreciation Week
Teachers, you show up every day for kids in ways that go far beyond lesson plans. You notice the quiet ones, support the big feelings and keep things moving, even when your own energy is low.
That kind of care matters deeply and it can also take a lot out of you. So in between the appreciation notes and kind gestures, see if you can take a few small moments for yourself. A breath between classes. A walk outside. A quick check-in with a colleague who understands.
Remember that you are doing important work. And your wellbeing is part of that work.
There’s no such thing as a perfect caregiver
There will be days when you feel patient and present, and days when everything feels harder. Both are part of the experience of being a caregiver. What matters is not perfection, it’s staying connected to yourself along the way.
So when things feel overwhelming, come back to something simple:
You’re allowed to need support.
You’re allowed to take breaks.
You’re allowed to take care of yourself.
And remember, you don’t have to do it all alone.
Need more support?
BrightLife Kids offers free behavioral health coaching, digital tools, and care coordination for families with kids ages 0–12. It’s simple, compassionate help — at no cost to you and signing up only takes a few minutes.
