Friends, likes, and the silent unfollow

Don’t aim for total control — aim for learning and preparation. Co-create a clear safety plan with your kids so they know exactly what to do if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe online. Then keep checking in. 

• Match privacy to age and maturity. You know your kids best, but in general, higher guardrails for younger kids. Explain why and adjust as needed.

• Make it a partnership, not a speech. Social media safety works best as a two-way conversation. Ask what feels positive online and what makes them stressed or uneasy. 

• Start with what’s working. Try saying, “I get why this matters to you, and I’m glad it helps you stay connected.” That opens the door instead of shutting it.

• Talk honestly about the risks. Help kids understand that not everyone online is honest — or safe. Ask what they think should stay private, then fill in the gaps. 

• Get real about sharing. Help them set strong privacy settings and think before they share.

• Teach kindness that carries online. Encourage kids to pause and ask themselves, “Would I say this in person?” 

Regular, open conversations are one of the strongest tools you have to help kids navigate social media with confidence and care.

These four smart moves can help:

1. Spotlight the good content: book recommendations, friends, fun recipes, positive affirmations, and puppy adoption accounts are all worth finding

2. Use social media to fuel their interests: follow an inspirational dancer or other athlete, find a “math is fun” influencer or silly teacher, and send pasta recipes you want to try to each other

3. Help them find their people: social media can help your child explore their identity and connect with like-minded kids; try finding school-based groups, nonprofits, and community organizations for a start

4. Keep them grounded in real life: help kids protect screen-free time so they can stay connected to who they are beyond the app. Likes, follows, and filtered highlight reels never paint the full picture. 
   

You don’t have to create social media balance overnight, but you can take one step today. Start a conversation with your kids this week. Set one new boundary as a family. Follow one account that actually inspires them.  And if social media seems to be doing more harm than good, don’t wait — reach out for support.