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Is in danger right now: Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room

Is upset and needs to talk to someone now: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). It’s open 24 hours a day. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline answers calls live in English and Spanish and uses a translation service for more than 250 other languages.

Would rather type than talk: The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline has trained counselors that will text or chat with people. Go to 988lifeline.org and click on the “text” or “chat” buttons.

Wants to text a crisis counselor: Text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.

Are talking about suicide, hurting themselves, or harming someone else: If there is immediate danger or someone cannot be kept safe, get help right away by calling 911. If there is no immediate safety concern, but you need support or guidance, a good first step is to call or text 988.

Talk to them and encourage them to talk with you. Many parents worry that asking about suicide will put the idea in a child’s head. It will not. In fact, the opposite happens. Asking directly opens a door. Sometimes kids don’t want to say anything for fear of hurting or scaring you. When you ask, it tells your child that this topic is not too scary for you to hear about, and that they do not have to carry it alone. Ask clear, direct questions that let them know you’re open to honest answers. Instead of:

• “You’re not thinking of doing anything bad, are you?” say, “Are you thinking about hurting or killing yourself?”

• You’re fine, right?” say, “You seem really down. Have you had thoughts of harming yourself or someone else?”

If they open up to you, even if they say something you find hard to hear, take it seriously and keep the lines of communication open. Here’s how:

• Continue with curiosity. “Thank you for telling me. Can you tell me more about the thoughts you’re having?”

• Take them seriously. “You are really important to me. What did you mean when you said that?”

• Show you care. “That sounds hard and scary. I’m here for you. We will figure it out together.”

Feelings change from day to day. Pick an easy way to check in, like using a number system, a color system, or code words (different words for different levels of concern). You can also choose a code word that helps your child ask for help without a big explanation. If you decide together on a number system, you can try this simple one:

• Zero = Nothing is going on.

• One = I’m having thoughts. I’m managing them myself.

• Two = I’m having thoughts. I need help managing them.

• Three = I need support now.

Have a trusted adult nearby who can check in fast. This might mean someone is with your child after school, or you sleep in the same room.

Lock things up. Keep these out of reach, and don’t let your child know where the keys or codes are:

• All medicines, even ones from the store

• Knives, razors, and other sharp things

• Belts, cords, ropes, and sheets

• Guns and bullets, stored in different places

• Anything your child has talked about using to get hurt

If you need help building out a safety plan that you can have at home, ask any provider, including your coach or a coach specialist. It is just a few pages that you fill out with reminders. You write down things like how to know when to get help, and phone numbers of people and organizations who are here for you and your child in a crisis.

BrightLife Kids and Brightline are not emergency services. In a crisis, please use the numbers above first.

BrightLife Kids offers coaching, not therapy. Therapy may be best for kids who need close watching to stay safe. It may also help kids who have struggled for a long time. If therapy is right for your child, we can help you find care near you.

If your child is in a mental health hospital or treatment center, or left one in the last month, work with that hospital or center to find the right care. Your child’s doctor or health plan can also help.