“Is my child OK?”
It’s totally natural to wonder if your child is developing as they’re supposed to. Take comfort in knowing that there’s no set schedule or calendar when it comes to emotional health. Development, for kids and parents, isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of thing. Every child grows, learns, and copes in their own way — and their parents do as well.
Learning who your child is can be less about diagnosis and more about discovery. As kids develop and grow, they begin to show their parents and the world what makes them unique and special. One of the most powerful ways parents can support their kids is by noticing their strengths — including differences — and nurturing emotional growth one step at a time. And when your child presents big emotions, you’ll feel more equipped to meet them with understanding.
Emotions of any size are not emergencies
It can be hard not to jump into fix-it mode when your child is upset. But worry, sadness, frustration, and other big feelings aren’t problems to fix — they’re natural emotions that help us navigate real life.
Some of the challenges your child may face will vary by their age and developmental milestones, while others may remain constant throughout their entire lives. The emotions that come with these hurdles, and how both the child and their caregivers process them in the moment, may change and evolve.
Here’s a common situation where kids of any age might feel big emotions — walking into a room full of strangers. Try talking about how they hope the experience will go and what they think might happen. You might say, “I see you’re a little nervous about walking in there. That’s okay. What if I go in with you? Or if we see one of your friends, you could walk in together.”
Meeting your child where they are, and as they are, can help them manage their emotions. This article offers members simple, compassionate strategies to support your child and assure them they’re never alone.
Courage comes in small steps
Every day, in situations big and small, parents can help their kids face fears, bounce back from challenges, and grow stronger through the twists and turns of life. Not every act of bravery has to be big and dramatic like you're starring in a movie.
Resilience is built through tiny, everyday acts of bravery:
Finding friends to sit with at lunch on the first day at school
Signing up for a sport activity or after school club where you have no previous experience
Standing before the class for show and tell, or to present a book report
Let’s take that third example and explore how you can support your child in their moment of bravery. A few days before the book report, invite your child to present it to you first. This gives them a chance to practice what they want to say and choose one key idea they hope their classmates will remember.
Through role-play, gentle listening, and open conversations about different ways to act and respond, you can help your child feel confident and prepared. And no matter how the big day goes, be there afterward to celebrate their effort or offer comfort — both moments teach resilience and self-trust.
This feature in our app offers additional practical ways to inspire courage and build resilience, from small “brave moments” to bigger acts of self-confidence.
There’s no one right way to be
We all want our kids to fit in with others, for them to grow up safe, included, happy, and loved. But what happens when you notice differences between your child and their peers?
Here are some of the potential signs of developmental differences that may tell you that your child could use some extra support. Keep in mind that these are examples, not a diagnosis. If you’re curious or concerned, a conversation with a professional can help you decide next steps.
Lack of focus, and/or the ability to sit still or pay attention
Fidgeting, running, climbing, or talking nonstop
Interrupting, blurting out answers, and having a hard time waiting their turn
Big reactions, positive or negative, to stimuli like bright lights, smells, tastes, and textures
An inability or slower path to read social cues, play in a group, or talk to others
Hyperfocus or magnified interest in particular subjects — this could be a particular anime character or TV show or something broader like sharks or magic
Repetitive behaviors like wobbling legs, picking skin, or poking others
There’s nothing “wrong” with these behaviors, and they can be managed in a way that supports your child’s ability to learn, make friends, and develop coping and communication skills. A BrightLife Kids coach can help you navigate your next steps.
In many ways, you’ll discover these traits are what makes your child one of a kind, and a few of these qualities just might be among their greatest strengths in life. By working with your child’s qualities, instead of resisting them, parents can nurture their children to navigate the world on their terms.
BrightLife Kids is here to help parents recognize and support their child’s unique ways of being. In this feature for our members, we further discuss ways to understand and support neurodivergent kids.
Managing your emotions to best support your child
If you’ve ever been on a commercial airplane, you may have heard the safety message at the start of the flight — should oxygen masks be needed, place yours on first before assisting others. The same wisdom applies to helping a child navigate big emotions; you must take care of your own emotions first as a way to best be fully present to support your child.
Keep this in mind when parenting starts to feel like a game of tug of war. You pull by asking your child to do something. They resist by pulling back and saying “no”. In those moments, everyone’s feelings start to swell — your child’s anger builds, and yours does too. It’s a quick spiral that can be tough for both of you.
But remember, not every moment has to be a win. If your child isn’t in harm’s way and you don’t need immediate action, just drop the rope.
Letting go of the power struggle can instantly soften the moment. You don’t need to let go of the rope every single time, but when you choose your battles, your child will learn that their opinions and feelings matter. If sometimes they can do things on their timeline, they will be more open to doing things on your timeline when it's necessary to do so.
This feature further explores self-check-ins with strategies to regulate your own emotions so you can help your child regulate theirs. It helps parents learn how to acknowledge struggles without shame, stay grounded during outbursts, and respond with compassion for both parent and child.
Coaching for parents and kids
Every child is unique, and so is every caregiving situation. If you’re looking for a personalized, compassionate support system, BrightLife Kids coaches are here for you. We can get to know you and your child, discuss your needs, and explore what makes each of you special. We’ll share proven tips and strategies that may work for you and collaborate with you to set and reach goals.