As much as we wish our kids didn’t have to face upsetting topics, like immigration enforcement and what it does to families, it’s impossible to completely isolate them. They see headlines, hear whispers at school, or overhear news reports that talk about ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement).
Even if a child’s family isn’t directly affected, just hearing about raids, deportations, or separations can spark deep fear and confusion.So how do we talk with kids about something this big? With care, honesty, and heart.
Kids hear more than we think
Children often learn about ICE indirectly, through news clips, social media, or the grown-up conversations around them. In some neighborhoods, kids may even witness enforcement activity firsthand. When children don’t feel safe asking questions, they’re left to fill in the blanks with their imagination. And that can lead to even scarier thoughts than the truth.
What fear can look like in kids
Fear doesn’t always look like fear. Some kids might appear curious and ask questions like “Will they take our family away?” Others might act out, have trouble sleeping, or cling more tightly to their caregivers. Some may stop engaging in school or withdraw from things they used to love. These are all signs that a child is processing stress and needs your support.
How to support children emotionally
Talking about hard things can be just that, hard. But it’s also important. Here’s how grown-ups can help kids feel more grounded and less afraid:
Check ins: Ask open questions like “What have you heard?” or “Is there anything you’re worried about?”
Be honest, but age-appropriate: Explain things clearly, without overwhelming details.
Normalize their feelings: Say things like “It’s okay to feel scared sometimes. I feel scared too. I’m here with you.”
Correct misinformation: Gently explain what’s true and what’s just rumor.
Stick to routines: Predictable meals, playtime, and bedtime can create a sense of safety.
Create a simple family safety plan: Talk about who to contact or what to do in case of emergency — it can give children a small sense of control.
Look for signs of stress: Headaches, tummy aches, nightmares, or sudden changes in behavior may be signs that your child is struggling.
Encourage expressive outlets: Drawing, journaling, storytelling, or role-play can help kids process feelings.
If your child is experiencing ongoing anxiety or sadness, talking with a pediatric therapist or BrightLife Kids coach can make a big difference.
Age-by-age conversation tips
Ages 3–6
Keep it simple: “Some families are being treated unfairly. I’m going to do everything I can to keep us safe and I’m here with you.” Offer lots of hugs, comfort, and reassurance.
Ages 7–10
They may ask more questions. Acknowledge what’s happening: “Some families are being separated, and that isn’t right.” Be a calm, trusted voice and remind them they can always talk to you.
Ages 11-12
Tweens may feel anger or a strong desire to act. Help them process their emotions and explore safe, meaningful ways to support others, like kid-led protests in the community.
You’re not alone
Whether you're a parent, caregiver, teacher, or family friend, your support can be a powerful source of safety and calm for a child. Talking with a BrightLife Kids coach can help you understand how to talk about ICE with your family.
Remember, it’s not about having perfect answers — it’s about showing up with compassion, listening deeply, and being present.
Need more support?
BrightLife Kids offers free behavioral health coaching, digital tools, and care coordination for families with kids ages 0–12. It’s simple, compassionate help — at no cost to you and signing up only takes a few minutes.