The first few weeks of school are a whirlwind of new backpacks, new teachers, new friends, and plenty of emotions swirling under the surface. For kids, this time can bring excitement, nerves, and everything in between. For parents, it can feel like trying to decode invisible signals: Are they really okay? Do they feel safe? Are these back-to-school jitters or something more?
That’s what the September Check-In is all about: slowing down, noticing the small clues, and creating space for conversations that help kids feel seen and supported. One little chat at a time, you can help your child feel grounded, connected, and ready to face the school year with confidence.
1. Transitions take time
Adjusting to school isn’t a switch kids can flip — it’s a process. Some bounce into their classrooms like they’ve been there forever, while others may tiptoe, hang back, or come home exhausted. Both responses are normal.
Remind yourself (and your child) that it’s okay if things still feel strange or overwhelming. Emotional readiness takes time, and every child’s timeline looks different.Instead of thinking, “They should be settled by now,” remind yourself that it’s okay if things still feel new. You and your child are still getting into the rhythm of this new year, and that’s completely normal.
Transitions are part of life, and helping kids see that wobbles are expected builds patience and resilience.
2. Spotting signs of school anxiety and stress
Big meltdowns are easy to spot, but early school anxiety often shows up in subtle ways. Keep an eye out for these yellow flags:
More clinginess than usual at drop-off
Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no clear cause
Quiet withdrawal after school
Changes in sleep or appetite
Sudden drop in enthusiasm about school
These can be signs of student stress or kids’ anxiety. They don’t always mean there’s a serious problem, but they’re worth noticing. If something feels “off,” it’s okay to gently ask or check in with a teacher. Find out more about the signs to look for and ways to help your child with the back-to-school transition in this article for our members.
3. Beyond “fine”: Conversations that open doors
We’ve all been there:
Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Fine.”
That one word can leave you feeling stuck on the outside of your child’s world. Instead of giving up, try more specific conversation starters:
“Who did you sit with at lunch?”
“What made you laugh today?”
“Was today a gym day or did you have music?”
Some kids share best during side-by-side activities (coloring, walking the dog, or riding in the car) when there’s less pressure than eye-to-eye talks. Try weaving in a simple ritual like sharing highs and lows at dinner or bedtime.
These small chats aren’t just about stories; they’re about building everyday emotional support and letting kids know their world matters to you. Find more tips for getting more out of your kids after-school in this article for BrightLife Kids members.
4. Making space for the hard stuff
Not every day is easy. Sometimes your child might be dealing with friendship drama, feeling left out, or carrying heavier worries. For parents, this can raise big parental concerns: Should I ask about it? What if I make things worse?
Here’s the truth: talking about hard feelings — whether it’s sadness, stress, or even thoughts of self-harm — won’t put ideas in your child’s head. In fact, it opens the door to safety and connection. You might say:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet lately. Sometimes when kids feel that way, they have really heavy thoughts. Have you ever felt like that?”
If your child shares something hard, try to stay calm. Listen first. Reflect what you hear: “That sounds tough. I’m so glad you told me.” Resist the urge to jump straight into fixing. Your job is to show them they’re not alone and that no feeling is too big to share with you.
It’s hard having these conversations, but you can get some tips on having a talk about these heavy feelings in this article.
5. Partnering with Educators and Care Teams
You’re not in this alone. Teachers, counselors, and school staff spend hours with your child each day. They may see different sides of your child than you do at home. If you notice yellow flags, reach out and compare notes. Try saying:
“Here’s what I’ve been noticing at home… I’m curious what you’re seeing at school.”
This kind of collaboration weaves a stronger net of emotional support around your child, helping both school and home pull in the same direction.
6. Modeling Emotional Openness
Kids learn how to handle back-to-school emotions by watching how you handle yours. Share your own ups and downs in age-appropriate ways:
“I was really stressed at work today, but talking about it helped me feel better.”
“I was cranky this morning. Tomorrow I’ll try again.”
You can also model with a daily ritual: at dinner, share your own “high” and “low” before asking for theirs. This shows kids that everyone has emotions, and that expressing them is normal, safe, and healthy.
7. Keep the Door Open All Year
September is just the beginning. Kids’ needs evolve over the year, and so do their stressors — tests, friendship shifts, new challenges. What matters most is that your child knows you’re always available.
Remind them often:
“You can always come to me. About anything. Big or small.”
Every check-in builds trust. Every shared story, whether silly or serious, reminds your child they don’t have to carry things alone.
Small conversations, big impact
The September Check-In isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about slowing down, noticing the signals, and creating a rhythm of conversations that make space for both highs and lows. Whether your child is buzzing with excitement or weighed down by back-to-school jitters, your presence, patience, and compassion make all the difference.
One little conversation at a time, you help them feel safe and supported, not just this month, but all year long. And if you need help, remember that BrightLife Kids coaches are here to help your family throughout the year.