Navigating prepuberty: Supporting children through emotional and physical changes

By Brandi Burton, December 4, 2025

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Group of 11 year olds

Prepuberty is a quiet but significant period in a child’s development, one that often surprises caregivers. This phase arrives before the better-known stages of puberty, but it can come with emotional swings, shifting social needs, and increasing sensitivity that can feel confusing or intense for families. Many caregivers notice changes in their child’s behavior before any major physical signs appear, which can lead to frustration or uncertainty.

Yet, beneath these surface-level shifts, something important is happening: a child’s brain and emotional world are preparing for adolescence. With the right understanding and tools, you can help your child navigate this stage with confidence and reassurance by understanding what prepuberty really looks like, why emotions can feel so big during this time, and how you can stay grounded while offering meaningful support.

What is prepuberty?

Prepuberty refers to the stage just before visible puberty begins and is sometimes called early puberty or the "tween" years. It’s a subtle developmental window when hormonal activity slowly increases and the brain undergoes significant restructuring.

When is prepuberty?

  • Prepuberty in girls typically begins around 8–11 years old

  • Prepuberty in boys typically begins around 9–12 years old

However, these ranges vary. Some children start earlier or later, and that is still within the spectrum of typical expectations.

During this stage, you might not see all the dramatic changes associated with puberty just yet. But under the surface, a lot is happening. Hormones are beginning to shift, the brain is rapidly developing, especially areas involved in emotional regulation, decision-making, and social understanding, , and your child may start to feel more intense emotions. 


Children may feel things more strongly, react more quickly, and show signs of independence mixed with moments of vulnerability. This is not misbehavior or “mood swings”; it is part of growing up.


Early signs you might notice

Kids going through prepuberty often show subtle signs — physical, emotional, and social — that things are starting to shift. Recognizing these signs can help you respond appropriately:

Physical signs:

  • Slight body odor or more frequent sweating

  • Mild acne or oily skin

  • Early hair growth (underarm or pubic)

  • Small but noticeable height increases

Emotional signs:

  • Increased moodiness or irritability

  • Heightened sensitivity to criticism or social feedback

  • Embarrassment or self-consciousness about their body

  • Frustration at small setbacks

Social signs:

  • Strong desire for independence and autonomy

  • More concern about fitting in with peers

  • Curiosity about identity, bodies, or relationships

  • A need for more privacy or personal space

Your kids may worry that something is “wrong” with them or feel isolated when friends seem to handle changes differently. They may not have the words to explain their experiences, which can result in withdrawal, irritability, or occasional outbursts. It’s so important to recognize that these feelings are a real and totally normal part of growing up, not something you need to fix.


The emotional and mental health side of growing up

Mental and emotional development is as significant as physical changes during prepuberty. The Child Mind Institute notes that children experiencing early or uneven development may feel isolated or nervous. Early puberty can increase risks for anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression, particularly if children feel different from their peers.

Children may also struggle with uncertainty about how to behave, what to say, or how to manage their emotions. Caregivers who understand this perspective can respond with validation, empathy, and practical strategies to help children feel more in control and less alone.

Tips for Children and Caregivers

For Children:

  • Label emotions: Teach children to name feelings like “frustrated,” “embarrassed,” or “confused”

  • Practice calming techniques: Lean into activities like deep breathing, journaling, drawing, or listening to music

  • Maintain routines: Work toward having consistency in sleep, meals, and schoolwork as this provides stability

  • Engage in physical activity: Get in some movement with sports, walks, or play as it helps release tension and boosts mood

  • Talk to a trusted adult: Encourage open communication with caregivers, school counselors, or coaches

For Caregivers:

  • Stay calm during emotional moments: Children often mirror adult responses

  • Validate feelings: Acknowledge what the child is experiencing without judgment

  • Set consistent boundaries: Provide structure while allowing autonomy

  • Model self-care: Demonstrate stress management, which helps children learn coping

  • Seek guidance when needed: Speak with a mental health professional to provide strategies tailored to your child

Joint Strategies (Child + Caregiver):

  • Schedule short check-ins to talk about feelings or events in a safe space

  • Practice naming emotions  together to get into the habit of labeling them as they come up

  • Do calming activities side by side (e.g., breathing exercises, walks, or drawing)

  • Celebrate small successes and progress in being able to deal with difficult emotions

When you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed

If your child’s moods or behaviors are suddenly shifting, and you’re feeling a little unsure or off balance, you’re not alone. Prepuberty can be just as confusing for caregivers as it is for kids. 

You might find yourself wondering what’s typical for this age, feeling frustrated by big emotions, or unsure about how much independence to give. It’s also common to worry about their social or emotional well-being, or to ask yourself, Am I doing enough? Am I doing this right?

Understanding it as a developmental stage can ease the pressure and help you feel more grounded. Think of your role as supporting your child through these changes, not correcting their behavior. Here are some practical strategies you can try:

  • Pause before reacting: Take a moment to respond calmly to emotional moments

  • Offer choices: Allowing children options supports autonomy (“Do you want to do homework now or after a snack?”)

  • Reconnect after tension: Repair relationships after conflicts

  • Validate emotions: Acknowledge feelings even when boundaries need to be enforced

  • Model healthy coping: Demonstrate how to handle frustration or stress effectively

Take care of yourself, too. Parenting through transitions is tough. Support your own well-being so you can show up with more patience.

When to reach out for extra support

Sometimes, a little extra help can go a long way. While it’s normal for kids to have emotional ups and downs, there are times when support from a professional might be needed.


Watch for signs like:

  • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or irritability

  • Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits

  • Withdrawal from friends or activities they once enjoyed

  • Declining school performance or motivation

  • Talk of self-harm or expressing that they “don’t matter”

If you're concerned, you can reach out to a pediatrician, school counselor, or a child therapist. Getting support early helps kids learn coping skills that will serve them well through adolescence and beyond.


And if you ever feel unsure about how to support your child through these changes — whether it’s handling mood swings, talking about body changes, or navigating peer pressure — BrightLife Kids coaches are here to help. Our experienced, caring coaches offer personalized guidance and strategies to help both you and your child feel more confident and connected during this big transition.


Think of prepuberty as a bridge between childhood and adolescence. Sure, it can feel a little wobbly at times, full of big feelings, new questions, and changing needs. But it’s also packed with potential for connection, growth, and resilience. When you stay curious, listen with empathy, and make space for real conversations, you’re helping your child build confidence and emotional strength. Together, you can create routines, practice coping skills, and explore feelings in ways that prepare your child to step into adolescence with courage and self-trust.

Need more support?
 BrightLife Kids offers free behavioral health coaching, digital tools, and care coordination for families with kids ages 0–12. It’s simple, compassionate help — at no cost to you and signing up only takes a few minutes.

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