The holiday season is here, and with it comes a swirl of twinkling lights, tangled emotions, and way-too-many to-do lists. For many families, the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s can feel like a rollercoaster of sugar highs, disrupted routines, and big feelings (from kids and grown-ups).
For many families, the holidays can be both magical and messy, and we're here to help you prepare for it all. Let it serve as a reminder that the holidays can be a little complicated, and while there’s plenty of joy in the season, there are other emotions, too. With a little planning, a lot of kindness, and the right tools in your holiday toolkit, you can enjoy the season with more ease and even more connection.
1. What’s happening for kids during the holidays
Routines? Out the window. Sugar? Through the roof. Expectations? Sky high. Here’s why the holidays can be tough for kids (even when they’re excited):
Predictability disappears
School schedules vanish, bedtime routines shift, and every day feels different. For kids, especially younger ones, routine equals safety.
Sensory overload is real
Bright lights, loud music, crowds, unfamiliar foods, strong smells — it can all add up to overwhelm.
Social demands increase
Meeting relatives, posing for photos, sitting still at dinner… it can all be a lot, especially for kids who are shy or neurodivergent.
Emotional pressure builds
There’s an expectation to be happy, grateful, festive during the holidays, even when kids are tired, jealous, disappointed, or just not feeling it.
What this looks like at different ages:
Preschoolers may have more tantrums, regress in sleep routines, and get clingy.
Elementary kids might complain of stomachaches, get easily irritated, or feel more anxious.
Tweens may eye-roll at traditions while secretly caring a lot. Mood swings and social comparison are common.
2. Proactive strategies to set everyone up for success
You don’t need a perfect plan but having a flexible framework can help everyone feel safer and more grounded. Kids thrive on predictability, and when their usual routines go out the window, their sense of stability can go with it. A loose plan gives them something to hold onto, even when the day gets busy, loud, or unexpectedly emotional.
The goal isn’t to control every moment, it’s to create a soft landing spot when things feel bumpy.
Keep one foot in routine
Kids feel safe when they know what to expect. Try to:
Stick to familiar mealtimes and bedtimes as much as possible
Schedule downtime between activities
Keep at least one predictable thing in your child’s day (like a bedtime story, daily walk, or morning cuddle)
Prepare kids for what’s coming
Preview plans: Talk through who will be there, what will happen, and how long it will last
Use visuals: Simple calendars or checklists can help
Make a plan together: Discuss what to do if they feel overwhelmed (like a quiet space or secret signal)
Loosen up your expectations
Things don’t always go according to plan. That’s okay. Try saying to yourself: “Okay, so that didn’t go how I imagined... oh well, that’s life.”
And if you need it, you can always create a moment to pause. This is great not only for kids, but for busy parents too. You can find more ideas for finding calm in the holiday chaos in this article for BrightLife Kids members. It’s easy to become a member, and it’s 100% free.
3. In-the-moment tools for holiday hiccups
Even the merriest holiday moments can suddenly take a left turn: a sibling squabble under the tree, a teary meltdown at a holiday gathering, or a disappointment wrapped in shiny paper. These seasonal surprises are part of the ride. Even with the best prep, big feelings will show up. Here’s how to meet them with calm and compassion.
When your child gets upset at a gathering
Step away to a quiet spot
Get on their level and say something like: “Your body needs a break. Let’s take one together.”
Let them decide when (or if) to rejoin the group
When sadness or disappointment bubbles up
Make space for the feeling without needing to fix it
Say: “You can feel happy and sad. Want to take a break or be done for now?”
Validate emotions before redirecting behavior
Quick resets that actually work
Sensory: Squeezing a stuffed animal, stepping outside
Breathing: "Smell the cocoa, cool the cocoa" (breathe in through nose, out through mouth)
Grounding: Find 3 red things, feel your feet on the floor
Connection: Strong hug, walk together, eye contact
The holidays are a time of big emotions, good and bad. When emotions like disappointment and jealousy pop up, of course your child is going to react in a big way. It helps to understand why they’re responding that way, and having some tools to help them get through it. You can find some more tools in our member article “When holiday magic feels a little too much.”
4. Taking care of yourself, too
You can’t pour from an empty cocoa mug. Your well-being matters, not just for you, but for your family, as well.
The holidays can stir up complicated emotions, especially when extended family is involved. You might find yourself navigating unsolicited advice, unspoken expectations, or even old family dynamics that make you feel like a kid again — all while parenting your own children.
In moments like these, it helps to remember that two things can be true at once: you can love your family and still feel overwhelmed by them. You can feel grateful and stressed. Magical and maxed out. What matters most is how you care for yourself in the middle of all that complexity.
This is an opportunity to show your kids that it's okay to struggle and that there are healthy ways to handle it. That might mean taking a break before reacting, saying no to a third holiday event in one weekend, or setting clear boundaries when someone questions your parenting.
You don’t need to have it all together. What your child needs most is your support and presence. Try something simple like: “I’m frustrated with Nana. I’m going to take a break, then we’ll talk.” That one moment of emotional honesty is a lesson that will last much longer than the season.
Find more ways to keep your cool during the holidays in this article for members.
The holiday wrap-up: You’ve got this
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You’re allowed to set boundaries, leave early, skip an event, or do things differently this year.
If your child struggles, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means they’re human — and you are too. By being flexible and prepared, you can make sure the holiday is fun and memorable for everyone.
And if you need extra support? The BrightLife Kids team is here to help. Our behavioral health coaches can support you and your child, so you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
This season, let go of the picture-perfect holiday. Instead, embrace the perfectly imperfect one you’re already living — full of love, growth, and little moments that matter most.