--- title: 'ND 1-2-3: Helping kids build healthy relationships' description: Description for 1zE5AYqYGdZlHIRDJRCJRv date: '2026-10-30' category: Blog canonical_url: https://www.brightlife.kids/blog/nd-1-2-3-helping-kids-build-healthy-relationships/ source: BrightLife Kids license: © 2026 BrightLife Kids. All rights reserved. slug: nd-1-2-3-helping-kids-build-healthy-relationships id: 1zE5AYqYGdZlHIRDJRCJRv contentType: article --- # ND 1-2-3: helping kids build healthy relationships *By the BrightLife Kids team* ![ND 1-2-3: helping kids build healthy relationships](https://images.ctfassets.net/c27ds9epot4n/7t0oP4J0XeNH2l6mK5kDLS/b9a3ce2233c61e9218c30cee0ac70c2d/11-a-newsletter.png?w=927&fm=webp&q=75) For many families, November marks the time of year when lots of family and friends are around. Which means it’s also a good time to talk about healthy relationships.  Healthy relationships help kids grow their friend group, social skills, and confidence.  Sometimes relationships aren’t healthy ones. It can be a hard lesson to learn that bullying behaviors might come from someone your child considers a friend. Even more difficult is when the bullying comes from a family member or loved one. When kids know what safe and kind feels like, they can spot when something feels off. They can also find the words to ask for help. Your support matters here. ## Here’s the 1-2-3: **#1: Name what safe feels like** Even before a child knows how to describe what they’re going through, they can feel it. So start there. If your child can’t find the right words to describe how they feel, keep an eye out for behavior changes. Maybe they suddenly start to protest a certain babysitter. They ask you to cancel a playdate with a friend they used to enjoy. Or they don’t feel good when it’s time to go see one family member in particular.  If you aren’t sure why, ask, *“How do you feel when you’re with this person?”* Their answers can tell you and your child a lot. Safe people help your child feel calm, heard, and free to be themselves. They use kind words, respect your child’s space, and say sorry when they mess up.  **#2: Teach how to spot hurtful behavior, even from people they love** There’s a difference between friendly teasing and bullying. Watch for teasing that won’t stop, put-downs passed off as jokes, being left out on purpose, or secrets that feel bad. Let your child know that mean is mean, no matter who it comes from.  Learning that people can love them and still make hurtful choices can be confusing. Help them understand those choices are not their fault. Your child doesn’t have to “be a good sport” by staying quiet or just taking it. **#3: Practice speaking up and telling** Help your child practice short, clear sentences that create boundaries. Simple things like *“Stop — I don’t like that”* or “*That’s not funny to me”* can help them stand up for themselves. Role-play at home using stuffed animals or pretend situations so when it’s actually happening, saying the words feel easier. Standing up for themselves sometimes means walking away. It can also mean telling someone they trust that bullying behavior is happening to them. It’s not tattling, which is usually to get someone else in trouble. It’s telling someone they know and love so they can stay safe. Make your child’s team together. Pick a few trusted adults like you, a teacher, and a grandparent, so they know who to turn to when they need to talk. Then, when they come to you, believe what they say, stay calm, thank them for telling you, and let them know what will happen next. ## That’s it Know what safe feels like. Watch behavior and teach how to notice hurtful actions. Practice speaking up and telling someone they trust. These conversations now go a long way towards helping your child build self-esteem, empathy, and confidence. *Did you know that when you’re a BrightLife Kids member, it doesn’t cost or commit you to anything? It does unlock an even bigger digital library (in the app), gives you immediate connections with other parents in our private peer communities, and allows you to chat or meet with an experienced coach. * *Whether you need one session or a bunch, it’s worth it. We’re here for every California family. And if you’re here, that means you, too. *[*Join BrightLife Kids today — it’s free and fast!*](https://app.hellobrightline.com/guest/new) - [Sign up for free](https://app.hellobrightline.com/guest/new) ## Other blog posts - [ND 1-2-3: Finding gratitude for the good relationships](/blog/nd-1-2-3-finding-gratitude-for-the-good-relationships/) - [ND 1-2-3: When it’s hard to tell if they’re “just kidding”](/blog/nd-1-2-3-when-its-hard-to-tell-if-theyre-just-kidding/) - [ND 1-2-3: Your child’s relationship with themselves](/blog/nd-1-2-3-your-childs-relationship-with-themselves/)